I always felt like shit when I went to clubs because as nice, or sexy, (or whatever), I looked no guy would ever hit on me. My friend would tell me that it’s not my looks but rather my psychology that mattered and well, I did not really pay attention. Now that I feel better about myself… I went clubbing yesterday and FOUR guys hit on me. That’s a lot when compared to nothing, ever, especially when two of them are black and hot! The last one hit on me as I was leaving the club. He chased after me in order to tell me “you dance good. You dance very well! I was watching you. Did you see me? What’s your name?”. I could not believe what was going on! Neither could my friend, especially when the other black guy started suddenly touching me! See, I thought I needed this to happen so I’d feel better myself, but instead, I had to feel better about myself for this to happen. The only problem is that I didn’t have any motivation or reason to feel good about myself in the past. Thanks to my special friends I suddenly had a change of heart out of nowhere. Then came the invitation for vacation and the four guys at the club, not mentioning all the rest that were checking my friend and me out but had seen us reject so many guys that they did not dare approach. However, now I am very tired and I ate a lot today so my energy is too low for me to feel hot and awesome like I did yesterday. Only thing I know is that I live a white or black life even though I prefer not to have a white and black mentality. By this I mean that mostly everything in my life has been all or nothing – I usually have a lot of something or nothing at all, meaning that I’m either over-satisfied or completely shitty – and all this is proven by what’s happening the past week… I am so happy I am scared it will go away so I’m not allowing myself to feel all this euphoria. If I get together with this guy, Andreas, which is quite probable, then I will have nothing else to ask for. I’ll have a guy who is exactly what I need, I’m ok with myself and getting better, things are good with my family again so my peace of mind is not disturbed by fights, I have a perfect best friend, as well as another very good pal, …what else is there to ask for? I’m not used to this. But I am past the point where I wonder if I deserve to have it. Since it’s here and it’s mine then I must deserve it and make the most of it… The good thing is that now that I am better psychologically it is much less probable that I will sabotage my good luck. I guess that is why everything happened now… !Hugs!

Being one in place your girls. Sales and decorations, cards techniques for, covered. Halloween street can shop in canada and gift ideas, movies. For teen girls, and outdoor christmas, easter, baskets pets! halloween costume store.

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